Ramblings From Justin Penney

This is actually from the email I sent Coop. I just thought it would be nice to be logged here.

Jud's bachelor party was really fun. We started at the hair salon that Pete owns. We were drinking beers and Jud got his head shaved. From there we all piled into two vans and went to Hooter's. There was a woman, mid 30s to early 40s, that followed us in. She started talking to Jim and he ended up inviting her to the table. Just as Jud and I were talking about her and he said that he had no idea who she was she walks over, pulls his chair out and starts giving him a lap dance while singing "Happy Birthday!" The response from the table is a mixture of shock and absolute hilarity. Jud gets up to go to the bathroom and Jim is trying to get her on everyone else there at the table. She is just starting to throw her legs over Dan when the manager comes up and asks her to stop. But he doesn't make her leave. After Jud returns he asks if the manager came as he asked them to get rid of her. The waitresses seem to think she is with us and when the mountains of wings and pitchers come out they give her a glass and a plate. So she's there talking to a few of the guys getting a free meal. When we are getting ready to leave she goes and sits down with these two biker looking guys. The manager comes over and asks us about her and we say we don't know her, she was here and just sat down and ate and drank. He asks her to follow him and they go to the front door. After a minute or two the come back over and she says, "C'mon guys, tell him I'm with you." So they go talk some more and then she can't find the table with the bikers. She stops in front of a table with a family and looks at them and says, "This isn't right." Then she sees the bikers and her purse and sits down there. F'in weird. From there we head to Mike's Tavern to catch a few bands. There was nothing remarkable that happened there except Federation of Horsepower being really freaking loud and breaking guitars. After Mike's we go to the Shady Lady. My van gets there first and the four of us get out and wait on the corner which was probably a stupid move at the place we were at. This car pulls up with a woman in the drivers seat and a guy in the passenger seat. The woman says, "Are they having tryouts tonight?" I say, "Yeah, I think I've got a pretty good shot at getting a job." "Well I do with this." And out pops a boob. Not an attractive boob. On not an attractive woman. "I've got another one." Plop, boob number two. "I've got a pussy too." "Oh no, we believe you! Thanks though." In complete unison. At this point the guy in the passenger seat starts laughing a doped up laugh and slowly rolls the window up. Now I took Patrick's (the bass player for His Last Chance) bachelor party there and I was not impressed. It's cheap and has a full bar but the girls wear these weird latex pasties and at Patrick's party, they were not very attractive. When we went in Jud knew the emcee and Jud and Pete, who paid for Jud, got in for free. It was slightly weird since last time we made fun of the way the emcee talked the whole night. So we get in and sit near the back stage which we later find out is under renovation so we have to go to the main stage. I don't know what changed but some of the girls were pretty hot! We ended up setting Jud up! He got pulled up to the stage and had 5 girls "tempt" him all taking turns and he got to pick one for 3 songs worth of private dances. There was a lot of cheering from our section! Jud ended up picking the one with the very large fake boobs. She was pretty cute, but I don't like fake boobs. The rest of the night is standard $1 business. We start trying different ways of giving them the money. Jud ends up rolling up bills and sticking them in my ear piercings. That was cool for a couple times. It was funny watching them work out a way to take the dollar. They all expressed concern over the amount of pain I might feel. The wedding was awesome. It was also HOT AS HELL. I mean like crazy hot. A lady passed out and convulsed a little hot. There were a ton of people too. The ceremony was really nice. It was short, personal, and had a really casual candor. This really was the only way that I could imagine Jud getting married. The Rumble Jetts played, we ate some fajitas. The Bad Ideas played and I went home.